maravilhanaervilha:

“…and that’s my presentation.”

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(Source: tupacabra, via confirmance)

distorment:

i procrastinate so much i’ll probably put off death and never die

(via teamsciles)

My dad ran into an old friend of his today, and they were catching up...

  • Friend: "So how's your daughter doing?"
  • Dad: "Great! She's in college now, and she's doing really well. We're really proud of her."
  • Friend: "What's she studying?"
  • Dad: "Political Science."
  • Friend: "And does she have a boyfriend?"
  • Dad: "Actually, she came out as gay several years ago."
  • Friend: "You know that's... UNNATURAL... right??"
  • Dad: "No, I don't think so, actually. My daughter's sexual orientation is a biological reality. It makes biological sense to me. You know what doesn't make biological sense? Her damned cat walks on a leash. A LEASH. Just trots along on a leash like a damned dog. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. THAT is what's unnatural."
  • Best dad ever

meloetta:

"text me when you get home so i know you’re safe" kinda people are the people i wanna be around

(via blink-182offendingmomssince1992)

damnafricawhathappened:

I always laugh at the people who cant take the long wait at the drive thru so they just take offlike speeding off past me as i get my food lmaooooo

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(via incubigirl)